Listening For Success - Key Takeaways from CHART Chicago

Tim Hast of Encore Life Skills gave one of the most popular presentations at the recent CHART Chicago conference. This article summarizes the key takeaways for those lucky attendees at the session. Enjoy!

Have you ever had one of those guests? You know, where everything is wrong and anything you suggest makes the situation more wrong. Perhaps, the situation escalates to a point where you, yes you, become just like them?

Not only do you need to HALT, but it’s probably what is causing the situation. Let me explain.

HALT is ….

H Hungry

A Angry

L Lonely

T Tired

Most likely the guest (and perhaps you) has one of these factors. Research shows that when these triggers are in place, the lower part of the brain (NOT the logical part) takes over. It takes about 30 minutes for the ‘buzz’ of these factors to go away; but by POWERFUL LISTENING you can help them fade away faster. 

Try these steps and I’m sure you can turn their bad day into your Best Day:

1. Move them to a calm/safe place
2. Mirror the right behavior
   
   • Remember it takes two to escalate so slow down & lower voice
3. Breathe Deep
4. Speak Slowly
5. Get them to Talk
   
   • Remember you don’t have to agree with them; just validate their concerns/emotions
6. Listen Skillfully
   
   • Always assume the best until proven otherwise
   • Give them the benefit of the doubt

Listening is the key to better relationships, superior negotiation skills, and improved sales and customer care skills. Yes, just by listening.

Become a SUPER Listener and Make it an even Better Day! Here are a few suggestions.

• Listen Patiently
• Do NOT multitask, just listen and focus on them
• Do NOT work on your reply or jump to conclusion, just listen
• Listen w/ Body
• Don’t cross your arms, be open – at 45 degree angle
• Listen w/ Voice
• Paraphrase what they’re saying so they’ll feel drawn & heard
• Listen w/ Mind
• Connect with them; shared experiences

Did you know that communications is: 7% Words, 38% Tone and 55% Body? Focus on how you stand, your eye contact, etc. It’s very important that the guest feels you are listening to them.

When your guests are having a very bad day (i.e. one of the HALT factors), try to understand their reasons. Turn their bad day into your best day by connecting and becoming a SUPER Listener.

Don’t try to solve the problem immediately, just listen During my presentation in Chicago, one of the attendee’s mentioned the following quote, “A feeling to be heard, not a problem to be solved.” Most people just want to know that they are being heard. Another attendee shared another relevant quote, “First they are a person, Second, they are a problem”. Both of these quotes really capture the importance of listening.

In closing, let me offer my mini-presentation in 2 points:

1. Step out of yourself, it’s not about you.
2. Listen to understand, not to fix.

Happy Listening!

These notes were taken from Tim Hast’s session Powerful Communication through Powerful Listening. Tim spoke at the Chicago conference and can be contacted via email: coach@att.net.  Tim Hast, M.Ed, L.P.C., Organizational Training & Development.   www.encorelifeskills.com