If I Ruled The World

June 11, 2012 | 1440 Views

If I Ruled The World

John Isbell

Director of Learning & Development | Portillos Hotdogs, Inc.

Someone asked me the other day what I would do if I ruled the world? Other than having every Monday be a national holiday so that I'd never have to work on one again, I hadn't really put much thought into it. That is, until I attended People Report's Summer Brand Camp this past week. There were so many talented people who are driven to change not only the way we do business, but change the way we communicate with each other and strive to do good in the world. And all that good talent and good humanism got me thinking - what would be some of my ground rules should I get that job of ruler of the entire world (I put my resume in for it but haven't heard back from the HR Dept of the world yet). Some of this is serious, some of it is not (I just can't help myself). Enjoy:

John's rules if he ruled the world:

  1. Three words - End Childhood Hunger (see Share Our Strength to start on this now & don't wait 'til I become the ruler of the world).
  2. No really - every Monday would be a holiday so that we never hear either of the following two phrases: a. "I hate Mondays" said by, oh I don't know, everyone! b. "Happy Monday" usually spewed out by the overly joyful person whom you want to hurt for being that happy on a Monday morning.
  3. All businesses would be required to profit share with their employees. If everyone got a cut - they would be more apt to do more and be better and provide the customers with mind-blowing experiences.
  4. The Kardashians would not be on TV. None of them. That includes you Bruce Jenner - guilty by association my friend.
  5. All employees would be allowed to train the way the want to be trained. Everyone has different learning styles and they will be more effective if they are learning their way.
  6. All Dictators are fired. You all now have to go live on an island together with no one around but you to grow your food and build your houses. Good luck with that.
  7. NO MORE WARS ('nuff said)
  8. All countries have to share their resources. Period. No price hikes. No killing people over your resources. And if I hear one more person fight about oil I swear I will come back there...
  9. Beiber fever would be inoculated...
  10. School systems - actually teach stuff. No more standardized tests. While we are at it - have gym and music and art classes. Mandatory! And I'm just spitballin' here but let's go ahead and pay our teachers more so that we ensure we are attracting the best and brightest to the party.
  11. Job switch Thursdays. Everyone has to do a different job on the first Thursday of every month. That way we get more well-rounded people and an appreciation for what others do.
  12. Pay based on quality of work you do - not longevity or position title. If you are a rock star for your company and they can't do what they do as well without you - regardless of your title or positon - then you deserve to be paid accordingly.
  13. Sports stars can't make more than surgeons. Playing a game or saving people's lives. You make the call!
  14. The following phrase is to be stricken from the language - "Because we've always done it that way".
  15. Anyone who intentionally hurts children would be publicly tortured for the rest of their lives. There is no excuse for it and it will never be tolerated. They will be made examples so that no ever does anything like that ever again.
  16. Universities would be affordable to all families and there will be many more on-line and alternative options for getting your degree.
  17. And directly from Seinfeld - everyone will where name tags everywhere they go. How great would it be to know who you are talking about and never have to remember a name again (admittedly - I'm a name forgetter from way back so this one might be a little more for me than the rest of you!). But it is nice when I'm at a conference and some worker there in the hotel says "Hi John" when I'm getting my coffee or something.
  18. Other programs not allowed on TV include (but are not limited to): Any show with a "real housewife", Toddlers and Tierras and The Jersey Shore. I will allow the original Dance Moms but Dance Mom's Miami is out!
  19. MTV must play MUSIC Videos. No more reality TV. EVER! And while we are at it - let's bring back Mark Goodman and the team!
  20. Everyone must treat everyone with human decency. Let's make karma matter.

Well - needless to say there are more but that's all the time I have for now!  In the mean time - if someone can make an introduction on LinkedIn for me to get the gig - that would be great!  While we are waiting for that - give me your ideas on what you would do if you ruled the world.  It might make it into a future blog.

Thanks for reading,


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